An unexamined life may indeed not be worth living, but what of constant, total re-evaluation of everything?! Is that a state to be envied? It seems utterly unavoidable, quite outside of my control, this daily, hourly, questioning of is it worth it, is there any point? At one moment I’m rolling along happily, smiling at the world, getting on with my work and wanting to as well – and at the next I stop what I’m doing (just to see what’s going on), turn around and – bang! – there it is, the abyss. All it takes is a split second of introspection and I wonder if it’s all worth it, a couple more minutes and I’m sure I don’t want to/can’t be bothered and I might as well go to the computer lab…
So here I am.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t really give up this volatility and uncertaintity. There may well be nothing worth doing, but I want to know why – and there it is! Anything’s worth doing so long as it gets me further down that track of understanding what it is that feels right. I wonder if I’m making any sense… Perhaps it all comes down to lack of confidence… oh dear….
[In response to the title of this post: ]
“The Young Ones: Nasty” 1984
RICK: [sarcastically] Oh, touchè, Vyvyan. What devastating repartee. Talk about Oscar Wilde.
NEIL: Oh, alright. Oscar Wilde, was one of the greatest British writers who was perscuted for his homosexuality….
[Rick approaches, and feeling that Neil is mocking him, starts slapping him]
RICK: Shut up!
NEIL: … well in the early part of his career…
RICK: [still slapping] Shut up!
NEIL: Oh yeah, OK, be like that Rick!
RICK: Be like what exactly, Neil? BE like what??!!
NEIL: Be like a complete and utter drag and bring everything down in the whole world.